How to be Anderson Cooper

Until Sunday.

I had several errands to run on Sunday - IKEA for a shoe storage device, Target for lord knows what, and a haircut.  Yes, those of us without much hair still get it trimmed.

You'd think getting a haircut in a city of 5 million people would be easy - but no.  Oh lord no.  No one seems to know which clipper guard I like.  Or they say, "well I can use a #1 guard raised all the way up". Yea, if I wanted that I would ask for it. 

When I arrived at the hair cuttin' place I was asked for my phone number.  I can't stand giving people my phone number, so I simply said, "I'd rather not.". The lady was in a sudden tizzy.  "Well what am I going to do?  How will I find you in the system?". I had an easy answer, "Just make up a name," I said.  She thought that was a grand idea and asked me who I wanted to be.

In that brief 3 second pause I thought about being John Smith - easy to pronounce and easy to spell.  I thought about being Bill Clinton - just easy in general.  And then it struck me.  "I'm Anderson Cooper" I chimed.  Not even a grin from this broad.  "Have a seat, Mr. Cooper.". The only other gay guy in the place was in a chair getting his hair cut.  He turned and flashed a smile and a bit of a giggle. 

Shortly after Mr. Cooper was seated it was my turn.  A guy thay was cutting hair walked up and said, "Anderson?  Is Anderson ready?". I stood up and said, "that's me" and followed him back to the chair - right next to the other gay guy.  He smiled and giggled again.

I see no sense in meeting Anderson when I *am* Anderson.

Right?